Category Archives: Love & Relationships

What it is like growing without a mother?

Yesterday, I attended a talk at the Tata literature festival on “ Writing as a Catharsis”. The panelist were Avni Doshi who has just released her debut novel “The girl in white cotton” which is about a complex relationship between mother and daughter. Then there was Istavan Voros and David Vann whose father committed suicide when he was just 13. David went on to write a novel about his father’s suicide but ended up committing suicide himself (in the novel

The Importance of Authority Figures

I have a problem with Authority. I have serious issues with authority figures like Dad, Bosses, More succesful Dickheads, and alpha males. Why do I have a problem with Authority I loved my dad, but he was someone who would say “No” to any thing i really wanted to have. He was a kid himself and there was only room for one kid in the house. He bought all the toys for himself (machineries, mercedes and toyota’s). As he indulged

How to become a better Listener

I have a ringing sound in my ear. It is very irritating, it is like your mom or wife constantly trying to tell you something. The ENT doctor says, my ear canal is blocked because of the cold. It is the most ridiculous health issue, but I had worst, so I might as well accept this one as another feather in the cap. This sickness of mine, medically known as tinnitus as made me think about the psychosomatic factors. It

Why I choose fun over connections.

I feel all doors are closing or more like the ceiling is going to collapse. Can one open doors without experimenting with Psychedelic substances? Health issues, financial problems and no relationships, yes this couldn’t look worse. But in spite of all this, I manage to have a lot of fun each and everyday. Yes, fun all alone. I really don’t see myself in other peoples company. I feel the work I am doing though not paying, but it is one

A smile to the rescue.

When two ego’s collide, there is bound be destruction. Inspire of having the best of intentions for each other, we may end up seeing the end of relationships. In our overwhelming need to always be right, we might do a wrong to a precious friendship or a relationship. It is extremely difficult to change our opinion on what is right & wrong, but a smile is very easy. It you want to put a point with all the force behind

Are you responsible for your Bad Luck?

I hate self help books. But I think I am feeling down, I was feeling that I am not giving 100% to what I do. Then I saw this book “ The 10X Rule” at a shop. I thought this is what I want, I want to perform 10X of my current output. I take it easy, I like to listen to music, Read everyday for 2/3 hours. I don’t like working like a mad man. But I know this

Inverting the Institution of Marriage to Eliminate INEQUALITY

I deal with the middle class. I mean I run online communities, where the people who consume content are the middle class. This has given me no choice but to study this class for their behaviours and biases. I am not an expert so my knowledge is made of lot of stuff I read by western authors and writers. The Middle Class hates the Poorer class One thing is certain, the middle class hates the poor. When I say poor

I thought my Life would be like my Father’s

I think there was only one man I looked up to when I was growing up. It was my father. He had successfully built a narrative about himself to me of being a great man. The story was “ I ran away from home at the age of 10 with no money. I came to Mumbai and became an Engineer form a prestigious mumbai College studying under Street lamps often”. Most of this is true, he was extremely successful given

My words don’t need you any more

My words don’t need you anymore They have moved on to a better place. A place that doesn’t want anything from you. My words now don’t want to be heard. They are comfortable in their own skin. They are there for no reason. They just flow like water finds in own level. They will flow and find their way like water. They will quench thirst, grow a tree or a forest. They might just get wasted in a puddle or

Publicly grieving for my father’s deaths

I got a call, it must have been 2 am or later. “Daddy passed away” the voice said. I was told to immediately leave for Bombay. This was 18th Feb 1999. I along with my 6 month pregnant wife drove 420 kms to Mumbai. I had to take more than 5 breaks to use the loo during this 10 hour drive. My bowels were emptying. There were no tears. I guess diarrhoea is a kind of crying too. Ofcourse if

How to not marry a psychopath or a sociopath

Before you marry, you need to first tick off these 2 lists for sure. Your Prince Charming or Daddy’s princess might turn out to be a psychopath or a sociopath. The reason for writing this post is I just clearly understood the distinction between a psychopath, a sociopath and a narcissist. Empathy So it all boils down to empathy. Empathy is literally putting yourself in other peoples shoes. The problem with empathy is unless you don’t understand other people pain

Birthday Wishes

So one more down and not sure how many to go. Preserving the old body takes lot of effort. You have so many things to think off. For eg. how to replenish your gut with good bacteria? how to make sure that your back doesn’t fold up or what is the tingling sensation in the brain? Is it a tumor? Why are my legs aching so much after a short daily walks? Accomplishments Anyway, a good ol’ friend called said,

Dating Advise

Now don’t you wish your grand mother or Grand father has given you some dating advise earlier in your life and you could have completely avoided some bad relationships. Here is some from the podcast I recently heard. These are the 6 filters to know what kind of person you are dating. Not being in sync with either one of them means friction. In my first relationship I think I was not in sync with 4/6, in my second big

The 4 things everyone aspires for but cannot have it all.

Family Friends Sleep Money These first 3 things are tied to Money and time. The horrible diagram below will explain. Case 1 – If you have no time and no money. You have nada. You don’t have friends or family and your sleep is fucked up. Case 2 – If you have money and no time , you can have your family, but say bye bye to any social life with friends. You work 9 to 5 for your family

Blame Yourself Always

You know this is the simplest rule to remember, but we all forget it. Let me explain We all depend on others. We cannot survive in this world on our own. Sometimes the people we trust let us down. They might be doing it to protect themselves, but your interests are getting harmed. You are feeling betrayed. In this case, the mind like a old tape recorder on a loop, will start the never ending blame game. The mind has

I figured out Why the single girl has so much energy.

I get tired all the time. I wake up tired when I don’t sleep well. I wake up tired when I have tummy ache. I wake up tired when I had too much to think. Single girls are feeling emancipated. The #metoo moment along with wide protest against rapes have made her strong. But these are macro level environmental changes in the lives of the single women. But where does she get her day to day energy from ? Here

Relationships on Rent.

One of the biggest worry a man has is that if he ever runs out of money, his woman will leave him (or he will have to leave her). Being together is a costly exercise, while one works the other takes care of the social and other aspects of the life. If both man and woman are working even then the responsibilities of social and administrative work is divided. A marriage or making a home together is like building a

My Bodyguard

I am not telling you the story of some Whitney Houston movie. This is my story. At the peak of my ego trip, someone suggested that I need to hire a bodyguard. Completely over estimating my importance in the world affairs I thought it was a good idea. I was given a guy who had worked for 15 years in the Military. He came in recommended and so there was no reason not to trust him. I always wanted a

The Economics of Relationships

I met this lady one day, I owed her money. She was not pushing me, she saw I was in pain. I told her about my problems about my recent relationship breakup. The worldly lady told me something which I find even today hard to digest. She told me that “she left you because you have no money left”. This statement hit me hard. I thought I was a bad ass, I screwed around and she left me. I mean

The world inside your head

She came, he saw , she conquered. There was something about her. The clothes she was wearing. They were of such good taste. The big necklace aroung her neck and her glowing bare skin. He could see that the length of her dress was of the right length. Atleast as per his standards. Too short and he would have thought she is loose, and too long he would have labelled her as Bahenji. The design of the necklace was very